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Mandala

by Wolf Helvetica

supported by
Marshall Lochbaum
Marshall Lochbaum thumbnail
Marshall Lochbaum What a name. It's like a furry, toothed version of a classic functional yet elegant typeface. Or a predator that hunts in packs on the mountains of Switzerland. Amazing. Favorite track: Ascending.
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1.
Entranced by amber eyes Intoxicated by foreign flesh She sways towards me And I cannot resist Inhale her unknown scent Ingest her bittersweet ambrosia I bring her closer And all I want is more Inviting me into her wings This dragonlike seductress To witness her in feral form My lover in bloom
2.
Ascending 03:44
Where have you been all this time? I've never felt so alive... Opened my eyes to vibrant colours Possibilites With you I feel like I'm above the clouds With you I feel like I'm the brightest light Of them all I hope this never ends I am ascending, ascending I have searched So long for Someone to Have this with All my life I've wanted Someone to Share these Joyful Feelings with I love you
3.
Push 03:14
When I Look at your face Down there In another place Without me You’re in ecstasy I’m left Wondering You push You beg me to feel it I push I beg you to leave it Alone You’re making it harder To feel Human This can’t work It won’t happen All you can do It’s lost on me What I ask You ignore it You act surprised When I just leave You push You beg me to feel it I push I beg you to leave it Alone You’re making it harder To feel Human I told you Just how I need it So please don’t Make me scream You know What happens When you don’t Listen to me You push You beg me to feel it I push I beg you to leave it Alone You’re making it harder To feel Human This can’t work It won’t happen All you can do It’s lost on me What I ask You ignore it You act surprised When I just leave You pushed You begged me to feel it I pushed I begged you to listen To me You ignored it Acted surprised When I said leave
4.
Don't touch me Unless you plan to be firm Don't touch me Unless you plan to commit Don't touch me so lightly Don't touch me so lightly I need that pressure There's too much noise in my head I need that pressure There's too much noise in my skin I feel like I could burst I need to be restrained I feel like I could burst I need to be contained I feel so overwhelmed something I can't explain I feel so overwhelmed It almost feels like pain Could I please trust you To give what no one else is willing Could I please trust you To ease this ache that leaves me stirring Don't touch me Unless you plan to be firm Don't touch me Unless you plan to commit Don't touch me so lightly Like an insult this subtle hurt Don't touch me so lightly Like an insult this subtle hurt I feel like I could burst I need to be restrained I feel like I could burst I need to be contained I feel so overwhelmed something I can't explain I feel so overwhelmed It almost feels like pain Please hold me tight Please hold me down Please hold me tight Please hold me down Hold me so tight Hold me down Please hold me tight Please hold me down
5.
Might 03:06
I can't push away these feelings They come in like floods I find myself adrift again Losing all the strength I had Can't pretend you're a stranger Seeing your face again Everything in me screams out But you are so damned deaf Soul shining for you Pores scream out to you Life shining for you Wholly into you Every time we catch eyes I don't know if it's the last time Every time we talk I don't know if it's the last time I don't know if you're the last time
6.
Lucidity 03:02
I don't feel safe around you anymore I don't feel safe around you anymore I'm always guessing You're so perplexing I don't know what you're doing all this for You say you love me and push me away You say you love me and turn out so fake Walking a tightrope All for the slight hope That we could live life together someday I'm feeling wasted I'm sick of chasing I'm not a chaser I was your lover I was yours Who are you to tell me what it is I truly want I've been being myself this entire time I decide who I am I decide who I want to be You don't choose that for me All I wanted was you I could let go of anything else If it meant I had to lose you I wouldn't want it bad enough
7.
Headfuck 03:52
I need your understanding I need your trust There's nothing around me It's all just rust Only darkness circling Just want to run I go to you for help You said we're done Everything in my way It's all one headfuck Everything I try I'm all out of luck Search the past Future is dead I once had you In my head Dreams are blank I can't scratch it away My mind is blocked And you're ok The two ends of this You and me The reality is clear But you can't see Abandoned by sobriety Death disowned Rejected society Lifeless drone A cold human form Appears in my mind It looks like you Warm from behind Abandoned by sobriety Death disowned Rejected society Lifeless drone It's a lie I know All too well I'd say I love you But I'm in hell I need your understanding I need your trust I need your understanding There was an us I need your understanding I need your trust There's nothing around me It's all just rust Only darkness circling I want to run Looked to you for help And you said we're done Abandoned by sobriety Death disowned Rejected society Lifeless drone A cold human form Appears in my mind It looks like you Warm from behind Abandoned by sobriety Death disowned Rejected society Lifeless drone It's a lie I know All too well I'd say I love you But I'm in hell
8.
Wake Up 01:36
It's so nice To wake up in the morning All alone And not have to long For somebody you've loved When they don't love you anymore
9.
7th Step 03:28
The last time was last night And I'm okay With every day that comes up From here on out You don't have to be here To give me joy You don't have to be near Here anymore I feel whole On my own The last time was last night And I'm just fine With every time you come up In my mind I can wake up just fine And be myself I can keep my heart warm Without your help I don't need to scream out For you to hear I don't need to scream out In pain or fear It isn't perfect Sometimes it still hurts But I'm okay with My life alone

credits

released March 31, 2018

Produced & Recorded at Murderloft in Los Angeles, CA and Redgrave Audio in Joliet, IL by Morgan Isaacs and Mel Redgrave. Mastered at Murderloft.

Thank you to the ones that have changed our lives for better or worse. Without you, we wouldn't be in the position we are in to make the music that we made.

Thank you to those who lent their voices for "Wake Up": Krimson Crusade, William DeVallee, Jordan Drane, Jordan Willow Evans, Wildflower Ghost, Luka Kladaric, Jordan Mizel, Cory Monster (KMFCM/37564), Simon Murray, Laura Rantala, Carlos Smith

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Wolf Helvetica Los Angeles, California

Two trans girls making music over the internets.

Matt Hamill from paid review site "Divide and Conquer Music" said he enjoyed some of the album.

HRT and chinese food give us life.

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